Wednesday, December 9, 2015

What's going on with my son?

I'm going to post something that's very personal, and that has nothing to do with working out or running or anything like that.

My son has been having problems.

They started last year. He would have trouble controlling his anger. His first grade teacher was great, and she would give him space. She knew exactly what to do to help him. I know she really cared about him. She did warn us, however, that once she was no longer his teacher she didn't know if he would have someone looking out for him as much.

He had one major incident last year, where he swung his lunch box at a kid who cut in line in front of him and gave him a nose bleed.

Then this summer, I got my new job, and we decided to move to Dallas.

He has been having more problems since school started.

He has had trouble getting along with other kids, and when he feels threatened, he lashes out. He started seeing the counselor at school. We had a conference with his teacher, the school nurse, the counselor and his vice principal. This was in December.

They referred him to a counseling program that the school district runs. So he started seeing a therapist weekly. He also had a diagnostic session with a psychiatrist which I attended.

The psychiatrist suggested that he may be high functioning autistic. Suddenly, a lot of things made sense.

We have been trying to get through the paperwork to get him tested by the school to get an official diagnosis, but it's taking time.

In the mean time, he is having more problems. It seems like every day I either get an email or a phone call from his teacher. Friday afternoon his teacher left me a message letting me know he had kicked another student, and she had sent a referral to the principal. She let me know I should expect a call from the Vice Principal on Monday.

Monday I received the call from the Vice Principal, which I expected. But it turns out it was worse than I thought.

He had been in an altercation with three boys at recess, and he ended up swinging his lunch box to hit a kid in the head. He had a hard thermos in his lunch box and it hurt the kid so bad he had to go home. When I asked him what happened, he said the kids were picking on him.

Even though Vice Principal knew the other kids were not completely innocent (and admitted they would be facing consequences, even though he was unable to talk to me about them), my son was still in a lot of trouble. He would not be allowed to come back to school until one of us met with the Vice Principal. He would have detention on Friday afternoon.

My husband met with the Vice Principal Tuesday morning (I had to work). It turns out what happened has been classified as a Class C Assault. I received a ton of paperwork with the original incident reports and the official reports detailing the assault and also two lesser offenses (scuffling and disrupting the classroom). If there is one more incident, he will be suspended.

The solution the administrators and his teachers have come up with is basically to isolate him from other students. So, he sits by himself in class. He stands in line away from the other students. And he tells me, "Mommy, no one plays with me at recess."

My heart is breaking. The bright spot is he does have a friend at after school care that he gets along with quite well. We are going to invite him over for a playdate. But, lately we were thinking we were going to take them out of after school care because we can't afford it. But now I don't want to, since that's the only place he is having happy interactions with other kids.

Oh, and I also have a parent teacher conference with my daughter's teacher Wednesday, because her grades are falling.

Everyone keeps telling me I'm doing ok, but I don't feel like I am. I worry so much about them. At least the 2 year old seems to be pretty happy right now.

I would love any support or advice you have for us. And if you live in Dallas and have a second grader that likes Pokemon, maybe they could be friends with my son?

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