Birthday Shenanigans and kind of some news

Today is my birthday...

I'm 42

Luckily, it coincides with both a Saturday and the release of a whole season of Fuller House so I pretty much had my day planned for me.

However, I still have children and they still want things, so I spent the morning doing laundry, making pancakes, watching "this*".

I did get a chance to go out and run. I moved to the next workout on my 5KRunner app and was pretty excited I made it through a 6 minute running interval. I was feeling great during my last 2 minutes of running, and running probably a little faster than I should have down a mild hill, and I tripped and fell. I got right up as soon as I could an finished the interval, but then I hobbled home, bleeding. Hopefully no one saw me fall. It was embarrassing.

But what I really wanted to talk about today was something I have been thinking about and have kind of decided.

So, when I decided to go back to school to get a doctorate, the main goal was to get a better job someday. The idea of calling myself "Doctor" is also fun, but at this point in my life, I need to think about what is going to make more money. Moving into leadership as a director of a library or a dean, or in university administration, was my goal.

But even though I was determined to finish long distance, moving and changing jobs has made it really challenging. I managed to finish my incomplete last semester and take a class on law in higher ed, but this semester I didn't enroll in any classes. The main reason is I just can't afford it.

I have taken out so many student loans in my life that I am not allowed to take out any more. Wow, thats an accomplishment. But it's incredibly depressing and even if I could, I won't take out any more student loans. I can't afford to pay out of pocket either, since we are still spending more than we make (that's a story for another day).

However, one of my benefits in my new job is a full tuition waiver. I mean, they pay for everything except books and the matriculation fee. This is an amazing opportunity (It's a very high quality private school), but none of the doctoral degrees really appeal or apply to me. So I started thinking about what degree I could get that could help me make more money at some point and give me a better chance of moving into leadership.

So I decided to apply to the MBA program.

It's such a significant program at our university that I think getting involved with it will inspire me and give me the tools to create some pretty awesome library initiatives for the students. So I think it will help me be a better librarian as well.

I applied and I'm waiting for my transcripts to arrive and then to hear if I'm accepted. If I am, I hope to start this summer.

I'm not giving up on the doctorate, but maybe in a few years when we are out of our financial hole and my kids are older, I can pick it up again. I mean, I'm only 42...

*"this" meaning some sort of dangerous gymnastics type stunt usually.

The meaning of life...

Source

So, in just a few days, I'm turning 42 years old.

I'm finding myself doing what I always do around birthdays: Wonder what I've done with my life.

Accomplishhments:
- Had three kids
- Earned a Bachelor's degree and 2 Master's degrees
- Have a job I like that I'm good at
- Ran some races

If you can tell, I'm feeling a little under-accomplished (is that a word?) There are a lot of things that are crazy right now. I think about if I were to run into someone I haven't seen in 20 years, would I be proud of where I am? Not sure...

I mean, having kids has been awesome. They are amazing and I've managed to keep 2 of them from getting suspended from school at least.

I am very lucky in that I have a job that I like and that (I think) I'm pretty good at. I am respected and enjoy my work. I just don't make enough money to live.

Source

I have goals and maybe this time next year I'll look back and feel like I accomplished a little more. But for now I'm just going to be happy we made it this far, and add "catching up to current episodes of Shameless" to my goal list..

So, about that big race...

There have been so many obstacles lately keeping me from getting my long runs in. A few weeks ago, I was injured. Then I was sick. Then I didn't have time. I'm doing ok on my runs during the week (where I'm using this program to work up to 5K). I'm repeating workouts to take it slow, but I'm doing them. I'm getting between 2.5 and 2.8 miles per workout, and I'm happy with that. But the long runs just add so much stress to my life.

This week and next, I am playing for two different shows. This means every night this week I have rehearsal until 10 pm, then wake up at 4 the next day to do it all again. Saturday I work all day, then a show. Sunday, my husband has church, and I have rehearsal for the NEXT show starting that afternoon (so no time for the long run). Then Monday I start it all over again with rehearsals every night, shows all weekend and finishing off with a matinee on Sunday, 2/21.

The thought of rearranging my life to fit in a weekly long run seems pretty impossible right now. Plus, I'm behind on training. Plus...

My weight loss has stalled. I keep reading articles about how long distance runners end up gaining weight and I know this to be true. I know that what works (and has worked for me in the past) is serious weight lifting, minimal cardio and strict diet.

I used to look like this...

So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to stop training for the half. I'm going to keep running, just 3 times a week, working up to 5K. I'm not going to run a longer distance than 5K.

And when race day comes around, I'll probably go and walk 13.1 miles just so I can say I earned the shirt.

And maybe I can finally lose those last 20 pounds of baby weight before my baby turns 3 on May 1....