Running and me- a surprise result

Something totally crazy and unexpected has happened to me. Running has started to go well.

Throughout the past several months I've been following a program designed to help me work up to running 5K with no breaks. Appropriately enough, it's called 5K Runner. I've had to rewind and repeat several weeks along the way, so it's taken me way more than 8 weeks.

It also tells you the mileage you ran and gives you little encouraging statements..

During the "training" (and I use that term loosely) for the last half marathon, I did these workouts during the week and did a "long run" (again, using that term loosely) on the weekends. Well, after the race, I was able to focus solely on these workouts and my training has really taken off.

Before the race, I was up to running 10 minutes without stopped. After the race I ran 15, then 20. I skipped a few workouts because I felt really confident and yesterday ran for 30 minutes. 30 minutes without walking you guys! The last time I did that was before I was pregnant with my second child (so like, 6 years ago!)

Me the last time I ran over 30 minutes without stopping (2009).

I've been on such a high from the last race that for a while I even considered training for the full marathon in December. I don't have to make a decision until June, but I think I've pretty much decided against it. I think what I really want to do is work on a strong half marathon.

The same company that puts out 5K Runner also has a 10K runner program and a Half marathon (21K) program as well. I've downloaded those and am going to follow them.

I have one more workout and I'm done with 5K runner. It's a 35 minute run (with walking warm up and cool down). The plan is to do it tomorrow morning.

Then I'll run 5Ks for a few weeks and then start 10K runner.

I'm confident that by December 11 (The Dallas Half Marathon), I'll be running a strong half marathon. My time goal is 2:30:00.

Oh and on the subject of things going well, I've joined Weight Watchers at work. Several of my coworkers joined last semester and a new 17 week session started on March 22. Our work pays for half of the entire cost, and then the rest comes out of the paycheck a little bit at a time. So I figured I would try it. And you know what, I really like it.

At Christmas on my home scale, I weighed 165. At the Weight Watchers weigh in on March 22 (on a different scale) I weighed 155.6. Last weigh in on Tuesday I weighed 151.0 (and at home I was 149). (That's the 140s y'all!)

So for now I've found something that works. For cross training I've started another round of 21 Day Fix in the mornings. I'm going to try to work up to doing 21 Day Fix Extreme. It's always seemed too hard for me, but since things are going well at the moment, this is probably the best time to try it.

I'm actually really looking forward to tomorrow's 35 minute run. I can't wait to say I completed it. Stay tuned!

I'm still going to tell everyone.

The meaning of life...

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So, in just a few days, I'm turning 42 years old.

I'm finding myself doing what I always do around birthdays: Wonder what I've done with my life.

Accomplishhments:
- Had three kids
- Earned a Bachelor's degree and 2 Master's degrees
- Have a job I like that I'm good at
- Ran some races

If you can tell, I'm feeling a little under-accomplished (is that a word?) There are a lot of things that are crazy right now. I think about if I were to run into someone I haven't seen in 20 years, would I be proud of where I am? Not sure...

I mean, having kids has been awesome. They are amazing and I've managed to keep 2 of them from getting suspended from school at least.

I am very lucky in that I have a job that I like and that (I think) I'm pretty good at. I am respected and enjoy my work. I just don't make enough money to live.

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I have goals and maybe this time next year I'll look back and feel like I accomplished a little more. But for now I'm just going to be happy we made it this far, and add "catching up to current episodes of Shameless" to my goal list..

I ran a half marathon (well, "ran" is maybe an exaggeration)

This past Sunday was the Dallas (Half)Marathon. I signed up for this over 6 months ago. But, my training didn't always go great. I hobbled through a 10 mile run a week before and really wondered if I had it in me to complete 13.1 miles.

When I woke up Sunday morning, it was pouring down rain. I would be lying if I didn't admit I considered just staying home. But no, I made a commitment, so I got up and got out the door.

I was optimistic at the start. I peed 3 times before the race even started. Look at this poor girl- she has no idea what the next 3 hours will do to her:

It was raining so much right then.

At the starting line, I started to take a selfie as I crossed, and these guys photobombed me:

They were super cool. They were from Gambia. They were just so happy and excited it rubbed off on everyone.

I knew I had to pee at around mile 2. Not fair. The lines at the port-a-potties were so long and I just didn't want to give up that much time. So I kept going.

I listened to Hamilton as I ran, but occasionally there was live music on the course.

At around mile 6 I hit the wall. I started to think I couldn't do it. I stopped, stretched, and considered sitting down on the curb and crying. But I didn't. Here I am at mile 7:

I started updating Facebook at every mile. That helped a little bit. Plus, my husband was following my route on the app, and was posting where I was and how I was doing.

At one point, just after I considered stopping, there were people handing out beer and powdered sugar donuts. I totally took them up on that. That cheered me up quite a bit.

I finished Hamilton with a couple miles left. My new half marathon goal is to finish before the musical ends.

At around mile 10 I ran into the guys from Gambia. One of them was singing "No woman no cry"... They were so cool and cheered me up.

Eventually, I did finish. And it was a great moment. I might even say it was worth all the crying, all the pain, the feeling that I was going to collapse and die right there in downtown Dallas... And thankfully I got a picture of the moment:

My time was 3:04:02.

I wasn't real thrilled with that time, but I kind of expected it. 4 years ago when I ran 3 half marathons in one season, my best time was 2:30. So, I have a ways to go to get that back. But I have 3 months until the next half marathon and I think I can improve on that.

Here's some more pictures:

"Look, I'm in shock. I've got a blanket."

Oh and I finally got to pee. Wow that was a long 3 hours. And I ended up walking about 2 miles to find my car. Ouch.

I don't think I'll ever be a person who can run 26.2 miles in a race. I'm perfectly happy to keep doing half marathons though and see how much I can improve my time. And maybe soon I'll lose a little weight too- that will surely make running easier...

Diet: Day 1

Well since last week was spent finishing my dissertation proposal, I decided to throw any "diet" plans out the window. Like, throw them WAY out the window. And run over them with my car. And set them on fire.

Not that I had been doing great before that, either. For several weeks the pattern has been to do great and eat only what I'm supposed to during the day, then get home and allow the kids to get to me and start snacking and oh hey why not just all out binge. 

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So I've gained weight. 

This weekend I bought bigger pants. Yes, it's kind of a failure but it sure does feel nice to wear pants that aren't too tight.

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So, today is Day 1.

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I was back in the gym today. I ran 2 miles and lifted at lunch. So far my eating is on track. My goal is to get home and CONTINUE to follow the plan. Don't snack off my kids' plates. Don't get stressed out and eat a cookie. Stay strong.

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 In other news, I completed the Turkey Trot 8 mile race on Thanksgiving. That was the only thing resembling a workout I did in the last week and a half (before today). 

See, here I am with my medal. Proof that I did it:

To be honest, it went much better than I was expecting. I was able to keep up my run 3/walk2 pattern the whole time. I finished earlier than I expected. I hope this is a sign that the actual half will go well (and maybe my 10 mile run this Sunday too).

And even though training has not gone well, I've already got my eye on another half in March, where I can maybe improve on this one...

I might be stronger than I think...

So, this week I was scheduled to start Week 6 of the 5K program I'm doing.

Here's a reminder of how it looks:

I was super stressed out about going from running a 2 minute interval to running a 4 minute interval. So, on the last run of week 5, instead of doing what's written, I ran 3 walked 1. That was surprisingly doable, so I planned to continue it this week.

Well Monday came and I started my run. I decided to just see if I could run for 4 minutes. Surprisingly, I CAN! The only thing is, I haven't run 6 sets yet like Week 6 suggests, mainly because both days I've run this week I've been a little short on time. Tomorrow I'm going to try the 6 sets, which will take my run up to 30 minutes. According to my Nike app, I'm averaging just over a 10 minute mile (including walk breaks) so I feel pretty confident I'll be running 3 miles from here on out.

Now, in other news, I'm feeling the need to do some sort of lifting. These past few weeks I've gotten my runs in, but that's it. I'm not doing enough for weight loss and I hate that. I miss lifting, but I don't have time since I already use my lunch breaks to do my runs.

I'm taking some medication right now that makes me sleep really soundly. That's great, but I keep sleeping through my alarm. So I haven't been getting up to workout. So something needs to change. Cross training is important. Even though my main goal is running and training for the half right now, I NEED to do something else besides run. So I'll work on that.

And that is my Week 6 update....

So I'm almost a runner... and other life events...

Well I've once again fallen off the face of the earth blogwise, so I guess I need to post what's been happening in my life. Lots of activity, lots of events. Lots of crying too. Let's see, where do I start?

The bad things:
1. I stopped taking my medication. This was a bad move. I thought I could function without it. I was on three different medications for depression. It was coming time for me to see the nurse practitioner and get my refills. My visits to the nurse practitioner cost $45 (copay). My medication copays add up to $70. I didn't want to spend that money, so I stopped. I thought I could just power through.

That was a mistake. I spent about a month spiraling into depression that rivaled the post-partum depression I had after my third child. I'm still climbing my way out of it.

In desperation, I held a GoFundMe fundraiser so I could afford to get going again. I was surprised and touched at how many friends care and want to help. I hope someday to be in a position where I can actually help other people. Right now I'm not.

2. I'm in a career rut. I don't love my job. I've been afraid to admit that. But it's true. I feel like my career has been a series of bad decisions. I see other people whose careers started around the same time as mine, and I feel like I've failed. Of course, I started my library career 4 weeks after giving birth to my first child, and since then I've had 2 more. So I guess I haven't completely failed at life. But sometimes I feel like I have. Sometimes I feel like if I didn't have kids I would be further in my career. That's probably true. But then I wouldn't have my kids. That would be even worse...

I look at where I am currently, and I feel stuck. There is no tenure/promotion system. There is nowhere for me to "work up to." I can't get a raise. I can't move up to anything. It feels like a dead end job. I'm not sure what my role is in the organization. I do what I'm supposed to, but the title "Reference/information literacy librarian" feels hollow, without purpose.

3. I want to be a stay at home mom. I realized lately that I absolutely hate leaving my children and going to work. My husband is not working during the day, so he has become the stay at home parent most days. And I am extremely jealous. I want to be the one to stay home with the kids.

But, there are also some good things happening.
4. I finished the semester. I decided about halfway through the semester to drop both classes. Well, my professors talked me out of it. One professor said, "Don't drop, just take an Incomplete." So that was my plan. Well, 3 days before grades were due, she said, "I would really like you to try to finish the semester. I know you can do it." So I completed about 75% of my coursework in about 3 days. I got an A. I can't believe it. I'm so thankful she pushed me, because it feels awesome not to have that hanging over me.

5. I'm running again. To deal with some of the depression, I started running again. I'm working back up to running 30 minutes. I have a ways to go, but I've also come a long way in the past 4 weeks. I've been running 4 times a week. It's pretty great. So great, that I decided to sign up for a half marathon. A friend helped me pay for registration, because she believes in me. So, in about 6 months and 3 weeks, I'm running the Dallas Half Marathon. It feels good to have a goal.

6. It's going to be ok. My quality of life has improved considerably over the past 2 weeks. Medication is helping. A product called "Thrive" is helping. I feel hope for the future for the first time in a long time. I've got supportive friends, a great husband, and 3 wonderful children. I think it will be ok.

Let's see if I can be a better blogger from now on....

Four Things Friday!

Hi five it's finally Friday! I've got several things to tell you about:

1. I was late for work because my daughter's knees hurt when she bends them.

Seriously. She was screaming that she wanted to go to the doctor instead of school.
I can't make this stuff up.

2. I sent my professor the draft of my Chapter 1 of my dissertation. That was surreal. Only ++++ chapters to go, right?

3.  For months I have been stuck in my size 10 jeans. Today I am wearing size 8 jeans. I just can't get over how awesome that feels! Single digits, y'all!

4. I'm a lazy blogger today and don't have many pictures for you, but here's one of me giving you a high five!

Have a great weekend, y'all!

Progress

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I've been working out consistently for a few months now, and I'm so excited because I'm finally starting to see some results.

First of all, the scale is consistently moving DOWNWARD.

For a long time it didn't do this. For a long time I was stuck. My eating was not strict enough. My workouts weren't intense enough. But now I'm seeing it go down every time I weigh.

My jeans are loose OUT OF THE DRYER! You know how you dread putting them on when they have been freshly washed/dried? I usually do too. But now they fit. And, as they stretch out throughout the day, they get crazy loose. It may be time to put on the next smaller size soon!

For a long time I dreaded getting dressed because the clothes I wanted to wear were all too tight. Now it's fun again!

I have more energy (and it's not just the coffee). I am stronger to get through my workouts. They are getting easier (or I am getting better).